More Humourrrrr....

Here we go again, Another funny incident finds its way to Dogfight!!

These are true events…. Not *based* on true events…

BEHOLD....

Suddenly, my colleague and I were called for a Board Level Meeting. (at work) Apparently our company is hookin up another to form a new one and they need a presentation done. There were coupla people inside the Boss’s Room. Some looked like they are suffering from Diabetes and Chronic Kidney Disease. (now I’m going crazy trying to explain them) So one director from the other company drew up the idea of the companies merging, he drew one circle, then another intersecting the earlier circle. Then he drew an arrow and said “now this is the new company” and tried to draw a big circle. The pen stopped writing !! Thunder struck me thinking “oka hariyanney naa” (this merger is not gonna work.) Now he’s hissing the pen in all directions but it still wouldn’t write. He says “I don’t believe it I bought this only yesterday from company X” (A very reputed pen dealer in SL who also happens to be a client of our own company – so the joke doubles and triples) By this time every body was laughing at him. Being the joker I am, I found it very hard to keep my cool and not to laugh like a fool at this certain Big Shot dude and also due to the fact it was a top level meeting. I also didn’t want this merger to sound like “Heart Break Hotel” But I cracked up and LMAO !!!!

It happened to be today was our bosses B’day (not to forget my Grand Parents’ Wedding Anniversary and my colleague’s Parents’ Wedding Anniversary) So cake was served but the other director buggers didn’t know about Boss’s B’day. They were clueless and curious what’s with the cake. I was imagining if these guys took that cake they’ll sure end up in Hospital with Blood Sugar Levels (It was Chocolate Fudge!! from the FAB) Boss didn’t spill it out until they slowly asked us and got to know the detail. Then one of the buggers (coupla feet broad sideways, bit like Obelix) slowly slipped into another room and started whacking the cake. Apparently he is supposed to be a party going dude. I can’t imagine that. He must be going to Night Club in Sarong and when he does a 360 degree swing the entire dance floor must be getting flushed away like flies.

So we were taking down notes about the products they deal with. While listing down “X, Y, Z, B, …..manufacturing equipment, industrial raw material…..” someone remarked “Blood Diamonds”. Another asked “Machang you watched the movie ??” another said “no machang”, another said “superb acting no ??”. I was getting pissed off here because we were going out of track. Anyway I was finding it very hard to laugh at these people anymore. Now got a lot of work also to do. So back to work. If Sloth was here, he’d say “Back to chat, hyak hyak hyak”…...

Random Jokers

I normally meet this type of people all the time. Here are some of the stories.

One day I was going to the nearby shop to get a balance they owe to my mother. This was at about 8.45 p.m. It was dark then I saw a guy coming in a push bike with something like a cigarette in one hand. I was looking at him but was thinking about something else. While passing, he asks me “Aiya meka Joint ekak. Awulak naa neda ??” (Yo, I’m smoking a Joint, Okay no??) I didn’t answer him. He went passed me and several times he was shouting “is it ok ? is it ok ?” mad bugger, wot the hek do I care…

Then another day I cross the road and in the dark I see an old man. He looks a bit familiar too. But he seems mighty outa balance cocked. He comes to me and says. “mallee mang beelaa, kaatawath kiyanna epaa” (bro, I drank today. Please don’t tell anyone) I told him I have urgent business and went on my way. Crazy Old Fool !!

And then, the best one. I got into a bus in the morning and got a seat. An old man (again, Dammit !!) was sitting next to me. He asks me whether I am in the Army. (Whoa, what makes him think like that) I started laughing (others in the bus also laughing by now as I was dressed up to go to work and it was very clear I was in office attire) and asked him what made him ask me so. He said because I was carrying a big bag. (I normally swing across my shoulder a quite big bag. But its 75% empty. Heh heh) He went on telling me that there’s no Independence right now but there was Independence before we got Independence, D.S Senanayake was good another one was bad and blah blah.. cough.. cough...

Then he went on to ask me where I live. I normally give wrong answers to avoid unnecessary trouble. So I thought I’d say a name of a road (road J which is close by to the actual road where I live), but then I thought I’d say the truth. Then he says he lives in road J. Phew !! Then he asks me about my family and everything. I just gave vague answers and didn’t go in detail. He said he should know my family and asked whether I know Mr. N (who is a very close relative of mine) I said, err yeah I think must be quite a distant relative. (simply because I wanted this man to shut up and leave me alone) Then he asked me who my Grand Father was. When I replied he says “Ahh I knew him very well…. wait…. what child, Mr. N is a very close relative of yours no” I was stumped for a duck at that moment.

Then for about 45 minutes he was talking to me about various things from saving my salary to how girls should not perm or straighten their hair. FOOOF !! I’ve had enough. He did ask me whether he was annoying me. Bloody Hell Yeah…. He was damn loud, and the whole bus could hear. And OH…. I noticed there was an old Lady seated right in front of him. I was wondering whether he was trying to impress her by blabbering about his achievements (Naaki Kukula) Yet didn’t shut up after she got down also. So he doesn’t fit the description.

This old man in the bus happens to be distantly related too. (Later I found out) awww shit…. Somehow, I was very tensed, with a lot of responsible work on my shoulders (and also doing the rounds in my head) for the day. He sorta helped me to take my mind off the work at least for a while. Other thing is this Sirasa TV is making fun of people and recording secretly (they reveal later) for a TV show. So its dangerous, have to be careful and shouldn’t get get caught for it. Heh heh !!

I still wondered what made him actually think I was in the Army (apart from my bag, I was having a very short hair cut and must’v looked like the skinny Army Private on his way home)